Tim Gunn calls this episode “An Amalgam of Unprecedented Drama and Events!” on his blog, and rightly so, we had quite a lot happen last night! Frankly I’m surprised that they had them design another piece for Heidi this season, it seems lazy, not to mention the Jay McCarroll drama. Whatevs, they didn’t ask me!
Then, just as we’re minding our own business, Maya comes from nowhere and peaces out … zub? As only the second person to leave competition in 11 seasons it’s pretty surprising, not to mention that she’s the first person to leave just because (the other was medical, remember?). Then again, if she knew in her heart of hearts that she would send zero pieces to Fashion Week if tapped I suppose it was for the best. Having given her very little character development it felt like a non-moment in a way, and Mila, her alleged BFF Bangs Soul Mate, seemed fairly unconcerned. Shocker.
On the up side it means we got Anthony back, yay! Then he co-won, double yay! His black and white dress wasn’t my thing, but I’m just happy to have him around again, he’s a doll. Remember that he won the other design-for-Heidi challenge this season … cosmic? Emilio was the co-winner and Heidi will sport his dress at something … or not. Emilio, have you heard of the drama? It was nice, exceptionally well made, and had some crazy bouf thing that I hated lots. Emilio, you’re going to fashion week, and I don’t care.
They ended up not loving Seth Aaron‘s dress which is whatever XP Crazy judges! Heidi specifically instructs them to retain their style, then Seth Aaron makes a SA red carpet dress, and they’re all, “This is too Seth Aaron!” Nonsense! Not to mention we had even more drama as Valaria, SA’s model, who tearfully turned down a DKNY shoot to stay with him on the show in last week’s episode of “Models of the Runway,” unceremoniously disappears and is replaced by Cerri (who I actually like a lot).
Aside from the “bosoms” gripe (which I agree with) I really liked Jay‘s dress. Plus Heidi flashed Jay to illustrate a point, which was pretty great. As to the judge’s critique that “no woman” wants to look like she has a bigger back side … seriously? I know a ton of women with somewhat boyish hips who would love a dress that made them look like they had more going on down there. Out of touch!! Though the waves at the bottom look very similar to Maya’s dress sleeves for the Parade of Neutrals episode, but the judge’s didn’t mention that, so whatevs.
Now we get to the nightmare disasters … Lord, I’m not even sure where to start. Mila somehow keeps being saved from her rightful auf’ing by someone else going down in flames. This model, once again, looks like (to quote Christian Siriano), “A hot tranny mess.” How does this keep happening? She also somehow looks pregnant in this photo, just saying. So I guess Mila loved her horrid tipi dress from last week so much she made this bizarro cocktail version of it … and stayed on. If Mila makes it to Fashion Week I’m going to scratch my eyes out from shock, for real.
Then we had Jonathan, who has been (unfortunately) circling the drain for weeks, finally get the boot. This dress is so bad, he knew it was bad, we knew it was bad … it was sad to watch, we all shouted aloud in sympathetic pain as it walked down the runway. No one wants to go out on a note like this; I feel for the guy. He was like a lost baby gazelle being stalked by a lioness, you knew it wasn’t going to survive, but it was hard to watch it go down like that … oof.
There you have it, folks! So who do you call for Bryant Park? I’m going to say Seth Aaron (FTW!), Emilio (boo), and Jay (my sentimental favorite). Thoughts?