Open Letter to the Lady at Starbucks in Pajamas

Dear lady that lives near me and always wears pajamas to Starbucks,

WTF. What are you doing? Every so often I go to Starbucks around 9 or 10 and night and see you roll up in your super nice car and hop out in full on pajamas. Bathrobe, pajamas pants, slippers, yes, you’re too busy to even put on shoes. Where has your self-esteem gone? You are well into your 40s if not cusping your 50s and you dress like one of those idiot college-age girls who wear pajama bottoms out because they think they’re being cute. Those girls are stupid too, but they’re in their early 20s and busy conforming with all their idiot friends, so in a way it’s forgivable, but you! Obviously you’re not crippled by depression because you can still manage to make it to Starbucks, so what’s your excuse for not getting dressed to leave the house? When I look at you I think, “This woman is a human train wreck,” and if a 30 year old woman wearing a cactus backpack is judging you, it’s time to reconsider your life choices. Here are some fun options:

  1. Put on some real clothes,
  2. Go to a Starbucks with a drive thru where you are embarrassing yourself a little less.



Update 2017: This post is now 6 years old and people are still freaking out over it. My “open letter” is just stupid nonsense, but seems to enrage people. Maybe [insert angry comment leaver’s name here] wears pajamas and yoga pants everywhere, and your mean (and oddly personal) comments are just thinly veiled insecurity. I will not validate you. Instead, I’m suggesting you calm down, and buy some actual pants. I will not give you permission to wear pajamas everywhere because you are not a child. Comments are now off.

14 thoughts on “Open Letter to the Lady at Starbucks in Pajamas

  1. Perhaps you should talk to the Starbucks people and see if they’ll pool their tips for the day to buy this lady a gift card to a clothing store? Or you could offer her one; tell her something like, “Excuse me, I have this gift card to [store] leftover from Christmas, perhaps you’d like it? You would probably get more use out of it than me.” I’m sure it would flabbergast the heck out of her!

    • LOL! Really. See she’s got this crazy nice car, the lady is well off, so it’s not the money. I think I would have at least loudly talked about it near enough to her to effect change had my boyfriend not been there XP

  2. This briefly topped cartalk as the funniest thing at work this morning. We all got a good laugh..and everyone wants to see your cactus backpack.

  3. Hahaha, this made me laugh so hard, not only because of that situation but also because one of my aunts is like that lady too. XD
    I really wonder what’s wrong in people’s to make them too busy/lazy to take time to wear normal clothes. hahaha x)
    Btw your cactus backpack is really cute, i love it. <3

    • Hehe, thank you :3 I mean I can be really lazy some times, but never that lazy. As far as I’m concerned the only person who has a right to wear slippers in public is my elderly neighbor, Old Man Joe.

      Glad you like my backpack, too :3 she’s a sweet heart! lol

  4. Who made you the pajama police?? How do you know that this woman doesn’t suffer from anything? How does her wearing pajamas affect your life and why do you have so little to do in your life that attacking a woman that you do not know is your only form of amusement? “This woman is a human train wreck”, really???? Why do you get to make this judgement? Doesn’t the world have bigger problems? Shame on you!!!

    • How does my open letter affect your life and why do you have so little to do in your life that attacking a woman you do not know is your only form of amusement? Also, what condition requires people to wear pajamas instead of pants? Find me one and I’ll publish and apology … also you will have to acknowledge that your self-righteous comment is no better than my self-righteous open letter … at least I was trying to make people laugh, what’s your excuse? :D

    • I saw someone in jammy jams at a restaurant a few weeks ago! I wanted to be like, “Have you read my newsletter?” lol Because being mean never goes out of fashion!

  5. Her self esteem is probably way better than yours. She’s not doing it to be cute she’s doing it because she gives zero fucks about anyone’s opinion of her, because she realizes that she is worth more than any judgemental assmuch onlooker. Also, you realize you work at a coffee shop right? What is coffee for again?

    • Aren’t you just an onlooker on the internet offering your unwanted opinion? This super old, intended-as-a-joke “open letter” seems to have sparked something in you. A desperate need to lash out, perhaps? Had a bad day, maybe? Well, take it out on someone else, and get off my internet lawn, troll. Also, for the record, I’m a college professor, and you are a jerk.

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