FFCC: My Life as a King (Wii Ware)

One afternoon I was bored and had no new video games to play, I had fond memories of Final Fantasy: Crystal Chronicles so I thought to myself, why not? After struggling to give the Wii online shop $15 (technical issues) I was on my way to a cute fantasy-driven building sim based on some of my all-time favorite game art. I was unstoppable!

The premise of the game is that you’re a mute child king whose father has been kidnapped by something malevolent and you’re given the task of rebuilding his large kingdom with the help of a mysterious crystal and a rag tag bunch of misfits. You know how I love misfits! After a quick tutorial from Chime, your lovely babysitter servant magical princess, boom, housage!

With housage comes people and with people comes volunteer warriors, for you see, you’re not the type to just let your father get kidnapped, oh no, you’re sending out parties to find him. Soon you can use the classes White Mage, Dark Mage, Warrior, and Thief, give your volunteer army tasks as they level up, and eventually form them into teams. Sooner or later you’ll storm the enemy fortress and then … well I don’t want to ruin it for you.

So now for the opinion part of the review, but before I do that I need to admit that this game consumed an entire weekend of mine, consumed it, for what ever reason I could not and would not stop playing until I beat it. Basically, the major flaw is that for $15 you get a third of a game, which is so cheap of Nintendo it’s sickening. You are, obviously, a Clavat – if you didn’t play FFCC there are four races in the world of this game and Clavats are basically humans – but a big part of the world is the three other races. Want thieves that are Selkies? Warrior Lilties? Magic-wielding Yukes? Well good luck, you have to buy them.Actually that’s not true, you have to buy the privilege of earning them. Rip. Off. I’m a huge fan of Lilties, so huge it was a major factor in my buying the game, and even so I still had to pay extra just to unlock the dungeons that made them available. In fact by the time I finished the game over half of the real estate in my town was utterly vacant – Nintendo makes it obvious that you have to pay to play, then they rub it in your face.

In the end, buying the add ons, or “the whole game,” as I like to call it, cost the same (more?) than a new retail game, only there’s no box, art, or most importantly, ability to let your friend borrow it. In exchange for this Nintendo gets to pocket everything a middle man would make (aka retail markup), doesn’t have to pay for manufacturing costs, and yet they still don’t feel obliged to give us a discount. I know when I’m being insulted and, in that sense, this game is an insult, because you get tricked into buying what, in essence, is a $15 demo.

Most people complain, in other reviews, that you can’t go on quests, which is annoying, especially since the game keeps reminding you that you want to go on quests. On the whole, the game is an expensive time burglar and, while I enjoyed my lost weekend, I think I need to advise against it unless you 1) like managerial type games 2) aren’t upset that you get no choice of gender (love that, thanks) and 3) don’t need a full game OR have $45 that you’re not too attached to. If all three of those are okay brace yourself for many disappeared weekends and maybe, just maybe, you’ll have a really good time in the process as well.

Screen cap from gamespot.com

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